Mood: Annoyed
Last Spoke To: My little one
Last harmed: 30 days ago! Whoa! (20-11)
Daddy has been amazing. My little one WAS being amazing. Now I wanna throttle him! Hmph. I asked him about the second sub, he at first said he would think about it, then no. And he was real sweet. Really good to me. We played a little, talked a lot. Sill no video or phone but he was being good. Then he didn't answer while we were playing, for half an hour and several messages.
Mood: Um...
Last Spoke To: My little one
Last Harmed: 5 minutes ago
Ouch, ouch and ouch. My hip is throbbing, there is a bandage around my thigh and there are about 31 cuts bleeding. Some are just upset deep, the others are really deep. A few didn't even bleed at first, it was past the blood layer. But now they are definitely bleeding, A LOT. At least one is needing stitches deep. But no one knows I still cut. So I have a bandage putting on pressure and I'm hoping they stop soon... So yeah, what do I do? My little one has gone out of course my master is upset with me, I know he would talk with me if I told him what I had done but I'm not going to blackmail him like that.....click read more...
Mood: Utterly and totally lost and depressed
Last Spoke To: My little one
Last Harmed: Bloody well about to
I was wrong, I am wrong, my gosh! What an idiot! Why did I never remember the trial with my little one when my... master, was away? I did it today, I was released from he who I'm going to keep referring to as my master. For label or not, he is my master in my heart.....click read more....
Mood: Loved
Last Spoke To: My little one
Last Harmed: 3 days ago (3-11)
Still no progress on leaving my current master but my little one is making me happier than ever. He is starting work again soon (finally got hired!) and I swear, if he settles and doesn't save to go to college for psychology I'm going to fly over there and give him a big mouthful about how he better start or I'm going to manage his money and save for him! Haha. He is so good at it and even he admits he loves it. I think he is basically stupid if he doesn't get into psychology when he has the money for college. And I know for a fact my little one is not stupid. I might tease him about it but I couldn't be more wrong! I tease him about a lot but so often it is about stuff that is not in one way true.....click read more......
Mood: Depressed
Last Spoke To: My little one
Last Harmed: Yesterday
What a dreadful weekend! If not for my little one, I'd have a second suicide attempt to add to my list. As is, I reopened the cuts on my hand and ankle and then decorated my hip with billions of long, shallow cuts. They won't scar, they were done with scissors. Only because I was considering stabbing my leg and knew I couldn't do that up at the house! You will be proud to know that I didn't though! Just billions of cuts. No stabbing, I stopped myself! I actually stopped myself! I tried but I was battling with myself and only stabbed lightly, I think I drew blood once or twice but only a pinprick. Apparently you don't cut in the dark where you can't see what you have done, cause you just keep going......click read more.......
